In Portland this weekend, I was was walking with a friend on a search for Voodoo Donuts. A man started screaming at us after I failed to adequately return his compliment on our physique. He stalked us for about a block before returning to his post, presumably to educate more women. I was shaken; my friend was less so. We talked about it, and she's had it happen to her- she's even been chased down when she didn't respond. I was in Portland for only a a weekend, but it happened a few more times, never as dramatically as the first one.
Safely back home in Seattle, where no one talks to you or looks you in the eye for too long, I shared this story with a friend, who promptly lead me to this site on how to avoid this kind of situation. Borrowed from Katherine:
Preventing sexual assault: Tips guaranteed to work!
Please distribute this list. Put it up in your place of work, in your university’s library or wherever you think they might be read:
1. Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behavior.
2. When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone!
3. If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them!
4. NEVER open an unlocked door or window uninvited.
5. If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, DON’T ASSAULT THEM!
6. Remember, people go to laundry to do their laundry, do not attempt to molest someone who is alone in a laundry room.
7. USE THE BUDDY SYSTEM! If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.
8. Always be honest with people! Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.
9. Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake!
10. Carry a whistle! If you are worried you might assault someone “on accident” you can hand it to the person you are with, so they can blow it if you do.
The school I attend is not in the safest part of town; e-mail notifications of criminal incidents were a daily event, now reduced to weekly. People get assaulted- mugged, stabbed, one incident of pistol whipping- with regularity. And it's almost sad how quickly regularity is reduced to normalcy. How, when something happens with enough frequency, it becomes a mere fact of life.
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